I will preface this by saying that we have had really great mornings (for the most part) since the beginning of the school year. I know we are not that far into the year, but with memories of some of Lilli’s epic meltdowns in the mornings last year, this year hasn’t been too bad. This morning wasn’t great, however. I was in a bad mood to start my week because of this morning. What I realized...it was all my fault.
My morning routine has changed in the last week, and I will tell you more about that at a later time. I assumed I had more time than I did. I assumed Lilli wouldn’t have an issue picking out a pair of socks. Yes...that was her issue this morning… I forgot to check Caden’s backpack over the weekend, and we realized last night that he did, in fact, have a math worksheet to complete. It wasn’t long, though. It wouldn’t take a long time. No big deal, right? Wrong. He had to draw a group of something, and then he needed to be able to explain it. It was a word problem activity. Caden is a perfectionist. He won’t just do something to get it done. He wants it to be perfect. Ryan and I tried to tell him to just draw sticks. Just draw apples. Nope. He didn’t want to draw those. Ryan was perfectly calm working with him. At this point, I was already 6 minutes off of my schedule. I also hadn’t made my shake for breakfast or gotten together my own lunch. I finally snapped at Caden that he just didn’t need to do his homework then. He could explain to his teacher why he didn’t do it. Did this help anything? Did he suddenly say, “I’m so sorry, mother. I will now begin the exercise.” Of course not! As Ryan left the room to go help crying Lilli pick out socks, I complained to Caden that all I want is a nice morning. As I put my purse into my schoolbag, I looked up at Caden. I was so frustrated (at myself) at this point that I just wanted to leave. Not say goodbye to anyone, just leave. I looked up at Caden and could see the tears welling up. Yes, I was already running late, but I needed to fix what I had done. Was it Caden’s fault that I didn’t check the backpack over the weekend? No. Did I know that he was a perfectionist and wouldn’t be able to simply slap something down on his paper? Yes. I did not set him up for success. I put down my bag and hugged him. I apologized to him. I sat next to him to give him more ideas. I told him whatever he went with would be fine. I left the room to go say goodbye to Lilli and Ryan.
Ryan was in Lilli’s closet with her still picking out socks. I knelt down and hugged her. She told me she didn’t want me to go. I reassured her that we would play tonight and I loved her. Did I know that Lilli has a hard time waking up in the morning, so she always needs a little extra time? Yes. Did I have her pick out every item of her outfit for the day? No. I didn’t have her pick out her socks the night before. The rest of the clothes, yes, but not her socks. Lesson learned.
I kissed Ryan and told him I was sorry. I truly was. He was in a good mood this morning...until I ruined it. When I get irritated or upset, I know he wants to fix it. He wonders if he has done something. He did nothing wrong this morning.
When I got back to the kitchen, Caden had already drawn one balloon on his paper. It was a beautiful balloon. That is what he decided he would draw. It was a perfect balloon, and he smiled when he saw me smile. Happiness breeds happiness. I almost set both of my kiddos and my hubby up for a bad day. I get so mad at myself when things do not go the way I intend them to go. The issues this morning were completely avoidable. I will not allow another morning like this to happen. I will learn from this, and I will always remember to be patient, find calm, and pass happiness to my kids and husband to start their days with success.